Brazil’s Foreign Minister, Antonio Patriota is upset. It seems that his government has received reports that billions of Brazilian email and telephone conversations have been monitored and archived by the United States of America’s “Do-gooder protect us from all evil agency”, the NSA.
On the surface, it might appear that the United States of America is employing the same sort of tactics that the former USSR used in its foreign surveillance activities. But there are good reasons why these spying activities are in place and I would like to offer an explanation to help relieve the Foreign Minister of his concerns.
Irrespective of whether or not the Congress is able to come up with any sort of reasonable and workable immigration bill, it is clear that from the standpoint of our neighboring citizens to the south, America is still the land of opportunity. Free phones, free food and free medical care are merely some of the benefits of living in the United States – whether that is legally or otherwise. So who wouldn’t want to move in?
Given this continuing trend, it is my expectation that the land between Mexico and Panama within five to ten years will be empty. That is what G-30 government analysts refer to as a “void.” Imagine, all that land going unused – and therein lies one of the justifiable reasons for the NSA’s activities on Brazilian citizens, corporations and government. In less than a decade, Panama City will effectively be the United States’ most southern urban establishment.
Now the nature of geography has inconveniently placed the continent of South America on which the Foreign Minister resides, awfully close to our new southern border. And while it is true that between his country and Panama, Venezuela and Colombia are in the way, let’s face facts.
With the death of President Chavez, the Venezuelans are too busy trying to find a new dictator to rule them to care about geographic expansion, and the Colombians are too involved in perpetual fiestas funded by all the money they have made selling their drugs in the United States to care.
Brazil, the largest geographical country and the most technologically advanced in South America, naturally poses a threat with the potential of moving northward and poaching the resources of our new southern border. And what is to prevent Brazil from continuing this wave northward?
With the abandonment of Central America and Mexico by its people in favor of the much nicer weather and other bennies to be found in the United States, Brazilian armies could just take over the entire Central American peninsula. And the best part is that since no one will be there, your Portuguese speaking troops wouldn’t even have to take immersion courses in Spanish. Surely, Mr. Foreign Minister you can see the threat involved to American sovereignty.
If this weren’t a long term game plan of your government, then why did you officially name your country The United States of Brazil? Huh? Answer me that one.
Of course, I suspect there is a bit of hubris involved in your shock and outrage at these legitimate spying activities. I mean, Mr. Foreign Minister, do you think that you Brazilians are better than us red blooded Americans? The NSA conducts the same sort of illegal surveillance on American citizens. So if it’s good enough for us it should darn well be good enough for you.
And if you think otherwise – then you’re just nuts.