My interest in Alexander Hamilton began with my first summer job with the Wall Street firm, E. F. Hutton. Their offices at 60 Broad Street were just a short walk from Trinity Church and its very old graveyard among whom was laid to rest the first Secretary of the Treasury of the then newly born United States, Alexander Hamilton.
There is no doubt that Hamilton was one of the most influential of the Founding Fathers of the nation. Born out of wedlock, he was raised in the West Indies and was educated thanks to the beneficence of some wealthy islanders who recognized the young man’s brilliance and talent. And for years, we have continued to honor his memory by ensconcing his portrait on our ten dollar bills. But that is about to change. A movement is afoot to replace the esteemed Mr. Hamilton with a person of the female gender – the left proclaiming that, “It’s time we finally had a woman on our currency.” Like so much of the rest of the pother they put out they’re wrong as there has already been a woman featured on our currency – none other than the nation’s first First Lady, Martha Washington.
The notes, which were redeemable for one silver dollar, a sound fiscal policy which incidentally was abandoned forty-seven years ago today, continued to be printed for ten years when they were replaced with the famous “Educational Series” notes which bore portraits of both Martha and President George Washington.
Alright, having dispelled the notion that having a woman on U. S. currency would be a first, Treasury Secretary Lew has opened the public to offer potential nominees for the changeover which is to occur in 2020. Among those who have been proposed by that esteemed publication known as, “Rolling Stone,” you’ll remember them for their publication of that fake story about a university rape without bothering to check the facts, is the singer, Beyoncé. Other than the fact that as she is still reportedly alive, which would violate an 1873 law which requires that anyone featured on our currency be deceased, Beyoncé’s contribution to anything is, to my mind, fairly suspect. But certainly there are some excellent candidates who actually benefited the nation by their lives and examples. But it seems to me that the obvious choice for the liberal left is Hillary Clinton.
Now you may be saying to yourself, “Hold on, Juwannadoright. Hillary is out of the question. Remember that 1873 law that says only dead people can appear on our currency?” To that I answer, “Hang on Bucko. Have you seen her on the campaign trail? And you’re going to tell me that this portly bit of protoplasm is alive?” Do we not measure “life” by both brain and heart activity? How can there be brain activity when all we hear is the same robotic monotony that sounds as though it is pre-recorded palaver, set on an endless cycling loop of “replay.” And can there be a heartbeat when there is no heart to support it?
As you might have expected, I do have a possible explanation for Mrs. Clinton’s apparent mobility. It has to do both with a thorough investigation into the concept of zombies and the transmigration of souls, the latter of which actually interests me.
Now all things zombie are big business. They’re big box office, big Halloween costume business and an apparent requirement to work in the Federal bureaucracy. As you know, zombies walk around, lurching this way and that and attacking all those who are actually alive, mistaking them for the drive in of a fast food restaurant. We do not call them alive and yet they move and create traffic problems.
So you say that even though you’re going to spend your money to watch Hollywood’s latest zombie flick you don’t really believe they exist. (You’ve never been to Haiti have you?) But let’s talk for a moment about the transmigration of souls – a far more interesting concept. And that brings us to a discussion of Chairman Mao Zedong, the late dictator of China who was directly responsible for the deaths, through his proclamation of the “Cultural Revolution” of at least one and one half million Chinese intellectuals and just plain ordinary folk.
Mao died in 1976. At that time, Hillary was working her way up (somewhat infamously according to some) at the Rose Law firm in Little Rock. She had been married to “The grass is always greener, Bill” for a year at the time. So what happened to that Mao Zedong soul? Clearly, based on the economic ruin he brought on the Chinese people and the misery and suffering he inflicted on his countrymen it was not ready to move on to a higher state. And, according to some religious sects, it is possible for one soul to transmigrate into a person who is already living, forcing out that person’s soul and replacing it with their own. Well, it’s a theory. But is there evidence to support this speculation?.
Some things never change. Taste in clothes might be one of those.