The American Dilemma and How We Can Fix It

SILLY RABBIT

Once upon a time a rabbit came into a tidy sum of money by winning the jackpot in a lottery drawing.  He was very happy at this good fortune, of course.  He was fixed for life with the certainty that he could buy more carrots than he could ever eat.

Not only did he not have to forage for himself – at the risk of receiving a load of buckshot from Farmer Jones’ shotgun – he could just hop over to the grocery store’s produce section where his favorite vegetable was readily available and all nicely pre-packaged.  The rabbit thought this indeed was Nirvana.

After awhile, he thought to himself, “Why should I stay in this cramped little burrow?  I should buy a house and live in style”  So he did.  He bought a beautiful house. It had all the most modern amenities which, of course, included a very large entertainment center.  The rabbit really liked that and spent hours watching it.

Of course, when he tuned in to the Playboy Channel, expecting to see stories about Flopsy and Mopsy and Cottontail, he was a little startled at what he saw.

One day while he was watching television he noticed an advertisement for a local company that sold a food that was called a donut.  The rabbit had never tasted one of these – but they looked good.  So the next time he hopped down to the grocery store he bought a dozen of them along with his supply of carrots.  He liked donuts even better than carrots and was determined that he would never go another day without eating some.

Well this went on for some time when a horrible thought occurred to him.

“What if the donut company should go out of business?  How would I get my supply of donuts?  I should buy the company and make sure that I will always be able to get enough donuts to satisfy my wants.”

So, since he had a lot of money available from his prize winnings, he purchased the donut company and took over the business.  He felt good about his decision.  Not only would this give him a certain supply of donuts, the exercise of running a business would probably help him lose the weight he had gained from sitting on the couch, eating and watching television all day.

The rabbit knew nothing about running a business but he was a bright chap.  He realized that maintaining the size of each donut’s hole was critical to his being able to make a profit.  The more dough he sold, the less dough he made.

So he turned his attention to making sure that the equipment that regulated the size of each donut’s hole was in perfect working order.  Sadly, he didn’t pay nearly enough attention to the other aspects of his business.

One day someone stopped by from something called OSHA.  They cited the rabbit’s company with a lot of violations of regulations which he didn’t even know existed and fined him a great deal of money.  The FDA claimed that the nutritional information on his packaging was incorrect and demanded that it be revised.  A  few days after that some people came by from the EEOC.  They told the rabbit that he was being sued because he didn’t have enough Slimy Toads working in his factory.  The drivers for his company demanded that they be represented by the Teamsters Union and until he recognized their right to organize would make no more deliveries.  And finally the IRS levied his bank account because the previous owners had unpaid taxes which they considered to be the rabbit’s responsibility.

This was more than the rabbit could bear.  He was last seen hopping away from the donut factory in search of a new burrow where he could live out his remaining days in peace and security, foraging for his daily supply of carrots.

The company closed its doors, putting the employees on the unemployment rolls and causing the plant to decay to the point that it was such an eyesore that it was razed at the taxpayers’ expense.

Moral:  The hole is sometimes greater than the sum of its parts.

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